Kegels Aren’t for Everyone — And That’s Okay
How to tell if you need them — and what to try instead.
🌱 Introduction:
Kegels are everywhere — recommended by OB-GYNs, pelvic health blogs, and even trending on social media. They’re praised as the go-to exercise for strengthening your pelvic floor. But what if they’re not working for you? What if they even make you feel worse?
Here’s the truth: not every body needs Kegels. In fact, for some women, doing them can cause more tension, discomfort, or emotional stress.
“Some patients come in doing Kegels religiously and still have pain — because they’re tightening muscles that are already too tight.”
— Dr. Heather Jeffcoat, DPT, author of Sex Without Pain
💬 Part 1: When Kegels Help — and When They Don’t
Kegel exercises work by contracting and relaxing the pelvic floor muscles, helping with bladder control, postpartum recovery, and even sexual health.
They can be helpful — for the right person.
But here’s the catch:
If your pelvic floor is already too tight, chronically tense, or affected by trauma, Kegels may add fuel to the fire.
Instead of helping, they can lead to:
- Increased pelvic pain
- Discomfort during intimacy
- A sense of frustration or disconnection
“You wouldn’t strengthen a muscle that’s already in spasm. The same logic applies to pelvic floor muscles.”
— American Physical Therapy Association (APTA), Pelvic Health Section
What you may actually need first is relaxation, not contraction.
Awareness, not action.
Permission to soften, not pressure to perform.
👀 Part 2: Signs You Might Not Need Kegels
You might want to pause before doing Kegels if you experience:
- Pain during intercourse
- Trouble relaxing your core or pelvic area
- Lower back or hip tightness
- Urinary urgency without leakage
- A history of pelvic trauma or surgery
“Women with hypertonic pelvic floor dysfunction — overly tight muscles — often worsen their symptoms by doing Kegels without guidance.”
— Dr. Rachel Gelman, DPT, clinical director at Pelvic Health and Rehabilitation Center, San Francisco
These are signs that your pelvic floor may be overactive or holding tension.
Doing traditional Kegels on top of that can lead to more discomfort.
🌸 Part 3: What to Try Instead — Gentle Awareness Tools
Pelvic health isn’t one-size-fits-all.
Instead of jumping straight into exercises, try starting with gentle, non-invasive awareness practices that help you feel safe in your own body.
- Develop pelvic awareness through soft vibration
- Relax your body before focusing on strength
- Connect with your breath and natural rhythms
- Rebuild comfort and curiosity around your pelvic area
Thoughtfully crafted for both external comfort and internal connection, it offers a soft C-point air pulse at the front, and a textured tail designed to awaken deeper sensations — only when you're ready.
Because not every muscle needs strength. Some just need permission to soften.
No pressure. No rush. Just soft beginnings.
“Gentle, external stimulation — such as massage or mindful touch — can help retrain the nervous system to feel safe and relaxed in the pelvic area.”
— Dr. Brianna Battles, women's health coach and postpartum specialist
💡 Part 4: Pelvic Care Should Be Personal, Not Prescriptive
At Yasmemua, we believe that every woman deserves a wellness path that feels right — not forced.
We’re here to provide not just beautifully designed tools, but also a space to explore, understand, and trust your own rhythm.
You don’t have to do what everyone else is doing.
You just have to start where you are — gently.