Is Superiority a Symptom?

 -Why We Sometimes Need to Feel ‘Above’ Others — and What That Says About Us

Intro: The Feeling No One Talks About

Have you ever looked at someone and thought —
"I just need to be better than her."
Not kinder. Not freer. Just… better.

You don't say it aloud, of course. You might not even realize you're thinking it.
But in quiet moments, when your heart feels a little hollow, it shows up like a reflex.

Let's talk about that feeling — the secret hunger for superiority.

Because no, you're not broken.
And no, it's not just you.

☕ Scene One: The Instagram Scroll Spiral

It's 10:47pm.
You're in bed, scrolling. You see her again — perfect skin, tiny waist, a boyfriend who plans surprise trips to Greece.

You tell yourself, "It's curated." But your stomach tightens.
Then comes the whisper: "At least I'm more successful than her. She probably doesn't even have a real job."

You don't want to think it. But you do.
And for a second, you feel… a little taller.

🎭 Scene Two: The Office Comparison Game

Your colleague just got praised in the meeting. She's smart, confident, eloquent.
And instead of admiring her, your brain gets defensive.

"She talks too much."
"She probably has no personal life."
And just like that, you find relief — not from success, but from superiority.

💌 Scene Three: The Ex-Factor

You bump into your ex's new partner. Or see her on Stories.
You notice the hair, the outfit, the laugh. You compare. Hard.
You don't even want him back — but you need to be prettier. More impressive.
You need to win a game you're not even playing anymore.

💡 So… Is Superiority a Problem?

Let's be clear:
The need to feel superior isn't a disease.
But it can be a symptom.

Not of arrogance.
But of pain.
Of unhealed wounds. Of invisible fears. Of a nervous system trying to find safety.

Psychologists call it a protective strategy — an emotional shortcut. When we feel unworthy, comparing downward helps us feel temporarily in control.

"We live in a society that often mistakes performance for connection.
But superiority doesn't connect — it isolates."
— Esther Perel, Psychotherapist

🧠 Superiority vs. Self-Worth

The difference is subtle, but it changes everything:

 

The first relies on someone else being less.
The second needs no comparison — just presence.

"You either walk inside your story and own it, or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness."
— Dr. Brené Brown, Researcher & Author

🌿 What We're Actually Longing For

Behind every superiority impulse is often a deeper cry:

• See me.
• Validate me.
• Make me feel safe.

We think we want to rise above others.
But really — we want to come home to ourselves.
To be accepted without achievement.
To be loved without performance.
To be whole, even when we don't win.

❤️ A Note from Yasmemua

At Yasmemua, we don't sell you fantasies of perfection.
We don't promise power through comparison.

What we offer is simple, and radical:
A quiet reminder that you already matter.
That your body, your desires, your softness — don't need to be better.
They need to be heard.

Self-care isn't self-indulgent.
It's an act of returning.

"Self-care isn't self-indulgence.
It's a biological necessity for wellbeing."
— Dr. Emily Nagoski, Sex Educator & Researcher

🕯️ A Soft Landing

So the next time you catch yourself measuring up,
or secretly hoping someone else falls just a little behind —
pause.

Not to shame yourself.
But to listen.

Because your need to feel superior…
might just be your need to feel safe, in disguise.

And you deserve safety.
Not through comparison, but through care.
Not by winning, but by being.

At Yasmemua, we're not here to make you more anything.
We're here to remind you —
you're already enough.

Come home to your body.
Let go of the race.
There's nothing you need to prove.
Not today.