Beyond the Performance: Why Women Fake It & How Real Pleasure Begins

💬 Introduction

At Yasmemua, we believe every woman deserves to understand her body not just anatomically, but emotionally and energetically. Yet for decades, one quiet phenomenon has persisted across cultures and generations — women faking pleasure. Why does it happen? And more importantly: how can we change the story?

Let’s take a closer look — not to judge, but to understand.

🤫 Why Do Women Fake Orgasms?

While popular culture often portrays female pleasure as a quick and linear path, the reality is much more complex. According to a 2010 study in the Journal of Sexual Archives, around 67% of women have pretended to reach a climax at least once. The reasons?

  • Emotional protection – not wanting to hurt a partner’s feelings
  • Social expectations – feeling pressure to “perform”
  • Time constraints or discomfort – simply wanting to move on
  • Confusion about what pleasure should feel like

“Faking it is not about deceit — it’s about navigating emotional nuance in intimate spaces.”
— Dr. Kristen Mark, Sex Researcher & Educator

But when this becomes a habit, it distances women from their own desires and self-understanding.

🧠 The Myth of the “One Right Way”

Not all pleasure looks the same. Not all orgasms come from the same place. That’s where understanding anatomy — and beyond — becomes key.

Enter the conversation around the CUGA zone — a term used in some sexual wellness circles referring to a network of sensitive areas:

  • C: Clitoral area
  • U: Urethral sponge (surrounding the urethra)
  • G: G-spot (anterior vaginal wall)
  • A: Anterior fornix (deeper inside the vaginal canal)

Stimulation of this broader area — together or in rhythm — is said to enhance internal pleasure and deepen emotional connection. But it’s important to note: not every woman will respond the same way.

🌸 The Science — And The Spectrum

While the CUGA zone offers one framework, many women report experiencing pleasure from areas entirely outside it:

  • The back of the neck
  • Behind the ears
  • Gentle strokes on the lower back
  • Kissing or emotional closeness
  • Even through mental imagery, fantasy, or breathwork

“For some, touch on the spine can be more powerful than any pressure point.”
— Dr. Deborah Sundahl, Author of “Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot”

In other words: your map to pleasure is your own. There’s no singular formula.

🧘♀️ So... How Do We Shift From Faking It to Feeling It?

Here’s what we believe can help women step into more authentic, enjoyable experiences:

✅ 1. Get to Know Your Body — Without Pressure

Explore in your own time. Touch, breathe, notice. You don’t need a goal. You need curiosity.

✅ 2. Learn What YOU Like

Is it light touch? A certain rhythm? A specific time of day when your senses feel alive? Journaling or audio-guided practices can help tune into yourself.

✅ 3. Share Openly With Partners (When You’re Ready)

Pleasure isn’t just physical — it’s relational. Talking about needs, slowness, or “what felt good” builds safety.

✅ 4. Reframe Orgasms as Experiences, Not Performances

Pleasure isn’t always loud. Sometimes it’s warm stillness, a deep exhale, or a sense of coming home to yourself.

💬 A Quote We Love:

“A woman’s pleasure is not a checklist. It’s a language. The more fluently she speaks it to herself, the more powerful her relationships become.”
— Dr. Celeste Hirschman, Clinical Sexologist

✨ In Closing

At Yasmemua, we believe that pleasure is wellness. It's about reconnecting with your senses, your power, and your rhythm — on your own terms. Whether you’re exploring the CUGA zone or simply enjoying a quiet moment alone, every part of your journey is valid.

Your body is not a puzzle to be solved, but a poem to be read — slowly.

💗 Explore our wellness tools, beautifully crafted for women by women — right here. Your journey to pure enjoyment starts here.

Back to blog